I accomplished things today. That's cool!

Whewww!!! What a day! What a productive day! (I think.)

This morning I woke up at 8 AM, showered and got dressed. That's an accomplishment itself. I had an appointment at 9 AM to meet a friend at our church building to show her how to use the Mylar Pouch sealer. (On a normal day I would've woke up at 8 AM, sat in bed for a half hour, showered and got dressed at 2 PM.)

Then I went to get some blood drawn to confirm that I'm not pregnant or have some freaky thing going on in my uterus. My HCG levels were at at 10, which is good and now I just have to wait for Aunt Flow.

Side Note: OK - so I've never heard of Aunt Flow before. But a couple of months ago I was looking some pregnancy thing up online and people kept referring to "AF." I was getting so frustrated that I didn't know what "AF" was and I looked it up and learned it stands for Aunt Flow. Is this some new teeny bopper texting lingo? I'm so out of it. Also at our ward Christmas party kids were singing Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer, with the little annoying echo line. They sang, "He'll go down in history. Like George Washington!" Since when did Rudolph go down in history like George Washington? I always thought he went down in history like Columbus. Maybe Columbus is a California thing? Anyway....

Then I went to the bank to deposit some checks.

Then I went to get my haircut. The last time I got it cut was in June. The hair stylist asked me why it had been so long and I told her it's hard to find the time. Although that is mostly true, I didn't want to tell her that I am a total cheapo and am only willing to spend an average of $3 per month on my hair. I didn't want my response to affect my haircut. As she shampooed my hair, she asked me if I worked. I told her I had six kids. She thought that was great and asked me if we were going to have more. I said we are going for 8, maybe more. We talked some more as I read the menu of prices:

$13 adult haircut regular stylist
$18 adult haircut master stylist

I wondered what qualified one as a "master stylist". I continued to read.

$18 adult haircut and shampoo regular stylist
$21 adult haircut and shampoo master stylist

My guess was that this woman was not a master stylist. I was wishing I had not opted for the shampoo so I would only have to pay $13. As she was finishing up my hair she said, "Christmas must be fun at your house." See? People really do say that! I'm not making it up. When I cashed out, she only charged me $13. Awesome! I gave her a good tip.

Then I stopped by Target to check out their 90% off Christmas stuff. Not much left. But I picked up a $0.10 ornament and some sort of FM Transistor that you can plug a MP3 player into to listen to in the car. It was a $1. I thought it was worth a try for my husband's poor neglected iPod that I bought him 2 years ago.

Then I went home to children still in their pajamas. My husband had some sort of online interview at noon. It wasn't really an interview; it was more of test. We don't really want the job because it's like 2300 miles away, but a job offer would be nice for a little ego boost.

Then I got a phone call from Brad from Pacific Benefits Group. For the past 3 months, I've ignored all health insurance calls because my husband's former employer has been paying for our Cobra, but Friday is the day that we are on our own and our COBRA payments could possibly eat us alive (hence the name COBRA?). I decided to give Brad a chance. I had checked out their website the previous night. I think I broke their application with our large family. When I inputted our family's names and birthdates, it processed ... and processed ... and processed ... and finally spit out a premium total of $1.00. Wouldn't that be nice? Anyway, Brad quoted me over the phone with a much higher number. However, it was still $400 less than COBRA. When I was transferred to the licensed insurance specialist for our state, he saw the list of kids and said, "It looks like you are fertile. Would you like maternity coverage?" I told him, "Yes." He asked if we were Mormon. I said, "Yes." We chuckled and he totally sold me on a good insurance plan.

I'm a little disappointed though. The maternity rider has a 90 day waiting period which means I can't conceive #7 until at least April 10th, which means I might not get my December baby. Oh the STRESS!!! You see, so far each member of the family is born in a different month:

January - Rachel
February - Sarah
March - Daddy
April - Emily
May - Totally vacant
June - Mommy
July - Wendy
August - Totally vacant and the month that the little aborted yolk sac was supposed to be born. Whatever. Her loss! I'm not sure why she had to hang on for 4 unnecessary weeks and wreck my chances for a September baby, because...
September - Totally vacant
October - Jason
November - Bradley
December - Totally vacant

So, if I conceive on the 91st day of coverage (just to be safe) the baby would be due on January 1st, 2009. So far all of my babies have been born at least 3 days early and my doctor only delivers on Tuesdays so he would be willing to induce me on Tuesday, December 29th. I don't know!!! It's cutting it close and it's also assuming Aunt Flow arrives at the proper time. And how does the insurance company determine when you "conceive"? Do they take the doctor's word for it? Oh the stress!

But I'm sure it will work out just fine even if I have a another baby in January. It just means I will have to have 11 children since I would have to double up anyway once we go past 10, unless I have twins. I think I'm thinking about this too much.

At least I have control over my children's names. Have you noticed that all my children's names begin with a different letter? That's actually my husband's neuroses. Jason was actually going to be Evan, but when we were in the hospital and writing the names on the hospital room white board, it became apparent to us that he would have the exact same initials as Emily which bothered my husband. I was hooked on Evan but then we kind of randomly came up with Jason. I didn't like it at first because my first thought is Jason from Friday the 13th. But thankfully my Jason is not horror movie scary:

Does Jason Voorhees looks like this under his tattered hockey mask?

My kids also all have middle names with double letters. (That's my neuroses that my husband wishes I would get over. But how can you stop the pattern after six kids?) I don't think it's as bad as having 18 children whose names all start with the same letter.

So while I was on the at least 45 minute insurance phone call, my kids made sure to take advantage of every unsupervised moment. Kids are smart. They know to ask mommy for things they can't normally have while she is on the phone. For example Sarah came to me with a little bottle of apple juice that I reserve for when we go out. There was an identical mama-sized one right next to it that I guess was not as satisfying. It's much more fun drinking juice out of a bottle rather than juice poured into a cup. I told her "no" several times until I finally came to a crucial part of the phone call. I wanted all whiny children at least 20 feet away from me as the customer service agent was asking for my billing info. So I caved and gave the silent go-ahead; a slight nod and look in the eye that says, "Are you happy? Now go away and don't bother me." Which, I guess, is interpreted by all children to mean, "Go ahead. Do whatever you want!! Drink it wherever you want! Please spill it on the carpet in the playroom! Watch TV! Put in a movie! Open a bag of marshmallows! Go punch the breakable ornaments on the Christmas tree! Go have a party! I'm just in the other room, not paying a bit of attention."

I don't suppose that getting off the phone and trying to get them to appreciate the fact that I was trying get them good health coverage would be very effective, so I let the mess slide. (I got slightly angry, but told myself I did a productive thing and tomorrow is a new day.)

Since I totally lost control of the day already, I made a couple of more phone calls, fixed my light switch. Check! for # 13 on my New Year's Resolution list. However, I replaced it with a toggle switch instead because I couldn't find a dimmer switch at Lowe's. I turned the DIY project into a science lesson for Emily and Bradley despite the fact that I know nothing about electricity except that you need to turn the breaker off before changing a switch.

My husband was still taking his test at dinner time. I told him I wasn't going to cook until he was finished. I let the kids fend for themselves:

They made cheese quesadillas.

My husband finished his test at 7 PM. We got the kids ready for bed (basically, they changed out of their pajamas into new pajamas.) I cooked some eggs sunny side up on toast, and a side dish of grits. We ate. I cleaned the dishes. I mopped the floor. I blogged while my floors dried. Now it's time for bed.

It was a good day. I talk a lot on good days.