Friday, October 22, 2010


For a moment today I was bored.  (Ok, so I wasn't actually bored, I was just avoiding my responsibilities.) So I checked my Google Analytics to see what keywords have brought people to my website.  Most of them aren't that exciting, but there are a few that make me laugh as I try to visualize somebody typing the phrases into their search engine.  Some of them I can't even repeat or I would have to rate my website R and that would be bad.  Then I wonder why in the world did this search term bring them to my site? Unfortunately sometimes I do understand why it brings them here.  Here are a few:

melinda rides a butt plug (Never.  What exactly is a butt plug?)
biggest bowel movement ever (No pictures, please.  I deal with plenty of feces on a daily basis.)
bought my husband a nightgown (Never)
bigboob (This is a dream of mine.)
clowns and pie fights (This is a nightmare of mine.)
girls caught flashing (Umm.  No.  At least I was never caught.  JK.)
pregnant inhaling poopy diaper smell (Mmmm.  But I think I'd rather inhale a Sharpie.)
snow white potty training (Never thought about Snow White potty training, but it is an interesting thought.)
spongebob metaphor pubic pineapple (Are pineapples metaphorically pubic?)
what is a floppy and retroverted uterus? (Well, let me explain.  When you have seven children....)
reflexology farted
i got a massage and now i have gas
my foot massage gives me intestinal gas
foot massages make me fart

Ok, so I feel better now that I'm not the only one who has to fart when I get a massage.  I knew there was a connection!

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