With her arm reaching toward the kitchen counter, Wendy spoke her first sentence this morning:

"Gai gwa daw gwit."
(I want chocolate.)

Spoken like a true girl!

The tooth fairy didn't visit last night. (Whoops!) We explained to Emily that the toothfairy doesn't work on weekends. She was cool with that.

The family debated tonight whether the tooth fairy was a boy or girl. Emily confidently explained that the tooth fairy is a small, beautiful, sparkly girl, that carries a wand that she uses to turn the lost tooth into a shiny new coin. Bradley proposed that there were multiple tooth fairies, girl ones for girls and boy ones for boys. Daddy clarified that the tooth fairy was most definitely a man and proved his point with this image he found online:
Her small, beautiful, sparkly tooth fairy image was crushed. With a nervous smile Emily half giggled with a look on her face that implied she was questioning whether to continue inviting this strange man into her bedroom an additional 18 times with this whole tooth fairy pillow tradition thing.

I was craving an episode of SpongeBob this morning so I grabbed the remote and sat on the couch. I entered 026, Nickelodeon, and accidentally got Blue's Room. Bradley caught a quick glimpse of the furry blue dog and shouted, "Blue's Room!" But I corrected my error quickly and entered 132, Nick Too, and as I predicted an episode of SpongeBob was playing. Bradley protested my choice and begged for Blue's Room. I tried to persuade him that Blue was for babies and he was too old for it. Whenever I sit down to watch TV with my kids, they gravitate toward me like magnets and snuggle close almost to the point of annoyance. So by this point Emily was at my right side with her arm hooked under mine. Finally I gave in to Bradley and pressed the previous channel button. Blue was on the screen teaching about Pointillism. I said, "I guess we can watch something educational." Then Emily added with a disgusted tone, "When we watch this show, we learn."

After Bradley excused himself from the dinner table he sat down in the playroom to read Dr. Suess's Green Eggs and Ham. At the end of the book is a picture of Sam with a full belly. Bradley showed it to Daddy and said, "Look Daddy. He's fat!"
In return Daddy said, "He's fat?"
Then Bradley said, "Yeah. Like you."

Quote of the day:

"Mommy, when I farted, pee came out. How can that happen?"

-Emily

Emily lost her first tooth today.

Sarah Monkey

We are now officially the parents of "the kid at church who experimentally sticks his finger down his throat in Sunday school and consequently pukes on the teacher."

We got a letter in the mail today from our neighborhood's property management services saying that we are in violation of a rule because our vehicle is not parked properly. We've been parking a vehicle in that same spot for nearly three years now and have never been told such a thing. I looked the company up online this evening and learned it is a new company started by two women. The irrational complaint made a whole lot more sense when I learned that their domain name is springfieldpms.com.

If you ever observe the aging process of a popsicle in the freezer over a period of about six months, you would find that the water slowly evaporates leaving a sticky, colored, syrupy mass contained inside the waxy paper wrapper. Tonight Bradley begged me for a popsicle and I told him that I got rid of them because they weren't really popsicles anymore. He informed me that our babysitter allowed him to have one the week prior. I said, "Really?" And he said, "Yes, I like the gooey purple ones."

Our kids are just small. The doctor finally admitted it. I even stuffed Jason with formula this past week to ensure that his weight would be on the growth charts unlike Wendy who was still 8 pounds at her four month appointment just 15 months ago. However, our kids have never had a problem with their head size. It must be all those brains!

Jason (4 months):
24.75 inches (25th%)
13 pounds (10th%)
17 inch head circumference (75th %)

Sarah (3 years):
33 inches (5th%)
26 pounds (10th%)

Baby Jason's Giggle

Happy Four Months, Slobber Face!

Ahhhhh. This is the life!

What's for dinner, kids?

Baby stew with a side of Weeble.

I was discussing with Emily types of fruits. I told her fruits were typically juicy. She guessed that cherries were a fruit. I told her she was correct and added a trivial fact that cherries give you stinky farts. Then she thought for a moment, developed a one-sided smile and appeared as if a light bulb switched on above her head and used her new found biological knowledge to conclude that "Daddy must eat a lot of cherries."

I started to read James and the Giant Peach by Roald Dahl to the kids today. At the beginning James is orphaned at four years old and goes to live with his two mean aunts. Today Bradley was driving me bananas with typical boyish acts and I told him that he needed to get himself under control or I was going to send him to live with his two big mean aunts. A look of fear entered his facial expression and he quietly whimpered, "No." After a moment of thought, he regained a smile and said, "Mommy. Ants aren't big, they're little!" and went off to play, totally disregarding my threat.

I was getting Sarah dressed for church this morning. She was goofing off several feet away and I told her she better get her naked, little hiney over here before I slapped it. She came over quickly with a smile (because she knew I was kidding) and gave a little sideways, leftward boost of her hiney in my direction and informed me there was a treasure in it.

Bradley was gathering lots of blocks and declared he was, "going to get all the blocks in the whole wild world!"

Happy 3rd Birthday, Sarah!

I read a short story with Emily about giraffes. It said giraffes only need one hour of sleep each day. I quizzically asked Emily how many of hours she sleeps each day. She laughed as if I were kidding and said, "None! I don't sleep in the day."

I just wanted to show off my new toilet seat. Isn't it beautiful?

Scene of the day: naked Sarah balancing a six slice plastic pizza topped with a wooden egg atop her head. Or.....Emily tumbling down the stairs because she couldn't get her shirt over her head and decided to keep it there, clouding her vision while she walked down to request help from Mommy. Or.....baby Jason crying after he kicked the latched tray off his swing causing him to plop on the floor. Or.....Sarah's 5 inch long locks of hair sitting beside the sink due to her substitution of barbering for tooth brushing. Or.....the jinx moment when Daddy commented to Emily that she must be able to see inside his head and her reply was, "Yeah, and there's a lot of cobwebs!" Or.....Bradley eating his angel hair pasta dinner the entire time with a noodle on his forehead.

" It's a dinglehopper!"

"Last one to bed is a rotten egg!"
And off runs Sarah with a five pound dumbell.

I was working on blend sounds with Emily and Bradley today. For each blend we discussed, they would choose a word to spell containing that blend. We were working on the "sh" sound and Emily announced she was going to spell "shh" as in the "be quiet shh." Bradley followed suit, but he not being confident in his spelling, went to the bookshelf and pulled out the board book titled, The Monster at the End of this Book by Jon Stone. He immediately turned to page three and counted the number of H's in the very prominent bubble letter text. He was quite satisfied when acclaimed Mr. Stone established that shhh has four H's.

O Christmas Tree

(solemnly)

O Christmas tree, O Christmas tree
How lovely were thy branches
O Christmas tree, O Christmas tree
How lovely were thy branches

'Tis now the time to take thee down
Before thee turns an ugly brown
O Christmas tree, O Christmas tree
How lovely were thy branches

O Christmas tree, O Christmas tree
Without your lights you look so bare
O Christmas tree, O Christmas tree
Without your lights you look so bare

I loved you so, you were mighty fine
I'll miss your shine and smell of pine
O Christmas tree, O Christmas tree
Without your lights you look so bare

O Christmas tree, O Christmas tree
Much pleasure didst thou bring me
O Christmas tree, O Christmas tree
Much pleasure didst thou bring me

I fight the tears, just one last touch
Perhaps in Spring, you'll be my mulch
O Christmas tree, O Christmas tree
Much pleasure didst thou bring me

Goodbye, Christmas tree.

Parenthood brings occasions that you would never guess to expect. Tonight Bradley called me into the bathroom to tell me that his poop was stuck in his butt. As I approached the bathroom, my attention was attracted to a dark spot on the wallpaper next to the toilet. Upon closer examination I realized it was a chickpea sized lump of poop and a six inch downward smear of it. As the smear guided my eyes downward, I also caught a glimpse of a chunk on the baseboard behind the trash can. Obviously Bradley had used his finger to try to emancipate the fastened feces, and simply trying to shake it off his finger did not prove effective. After I explained that poop on the walls was unacceptable, I introduced the word "dingleberry" into his vocabulary and exited the room to retrieve a wipe for the wall and baseboard. As I walked away I heard Bradley penitently say, "Sorr-rry. Sorry for getting poop on the wall."

The fake farting contagion has advanced itself into the innocence of our poor 18 month old Wendy. Tonight I witnessed her assume the partial squat position with her rear appearing to be aimed at something or someone, possibly a brother or sister, and remove the pacifier from her mouth. She then attempted to use her mouth to imitate the classic whooppee cusion reverberation. I gave her a score of about a 6. With some teeth and practice she will be up to par with her siblings. Oh, she so ignorantly looks up to them!

I wonder how many once-soggy, crusted Cheerios I have dislodged from my tiled kitchen floor with my big toe?

Watching a movie.

Loose Teeth (Emily)

New Teeth (Wendy)

I don't think my kids have quite caught on to the the Lincoln Log concept yet. Today they piled an assortment of Lincoln Logs in the middle of the room and played "campfire."

Our kids are experiencing a hopefully brief obsession with bodily functions. Everything is fart this, fart that, burp this, burp that, stinky butt, pull my finger, and the new expletive is "poopy diaper." Understandingly so, they are extremely offended when called a "poopy diaper." Today Bradley was playing pooping matchbox cars and and I firmly stated, "Stop talking that way. It isn't funny!" He looked up at me, seemingly unaffected by my disapproval, and confidently replied, "It's funny to us." and resumed his playing.

Operation "Oven Escape"

Evidence of an unsupervised 18 month old older sister. But Jason takes it all in stride.

Wendy cut her first tooth today. It was her upper left front. She will be 18 months on January first.

Dr. Cole connects the ankle bone to the knee bone. $200.

The paternal grandparents are here for a post Christmas visit. Bradley accompanied Poppa Dave to get an oil change and on a stop to the grocery store. Upon arrival home, Bradley entered the house with a sad, pouty, tear drippy face. While trying to explain the inducer of his sadness to his Daddy, Poppa Dave walked in and said, "He's not a happy boy. He was asking for a turkey the whole time while at the grocery store. I told him that we had sandwich meat at home. But he still kept crying for a turkey." Overhearing the conversation while playing Littlest Pet Shop with Sarah I chimed in, "I think he wanted a cookie. We get a free cookie every time we go to the grocery store." Ahhh! Now that makes more sense.

Merry Christmas Eve!

(There is a Christmas tree in back of us)

Back Row: Cindy, Tom, Papa, Nana, Nay Nay, Sarah (sleeping)
Middle Row: Steven, Tommy, Nani, Jason (on lap), Emily, Bradley
Kneeling: David, Melinda, Wendy (on lap)

The kids were role playing this afternoon and Bradley said, "Emily you be the sweetie pie mommy, I'll be the daddy and Sarah will be the Christmas tree."

Bradley demonstrated his art knowledge when he and Emily were discussing what foods they resembled in relation to their color of clothing. Emily originally determined she was a banana with her brightly colored yellow shirt. Bradley disagreed. He thought since Emily was wearing blue jeans she should declare herself a pickle because yellow and blue make green and pickles are green.

We went to see Christmas lights. The kids got cotton candy. When David gave Bradley a piece of the delightful treat, Bradley asked with a grimaced face, "Why is it furry?" I can't believe my kids don't like cotton candy. I thought that it was a childhood staple.

I saw a bumper sticker tonight that said "Keep the Earth clean. It's not Uranus."

Milk bubbles are normally a no-no, but apparently Auntie Nay Nay encouraged it for a photo op.

I called the cable company today to troubleshoot a problem with my DVR. The rep could hear Jason and she asked how old he is and I said, "He's two months." Later in the conversation Sarah was sitting beside me reaching for the remote and repeatedly asking, "I do it? I do it?" in her deep, husky voice. The rep then asked me, "You have two little boys?" Poor Sarah! David optimistically says she's going to have the sultry singing voice.

Sarah was playing with the Christmas Little People this afternoon and I heard the following conversation:
"Don't kill my friend."
"Why?'
"She's my friend!"

Today a friend of mine who lives nearby called to borrow 2 cans of evaporated milk. Confident I had some, I looked in my cupboards and found 30 cans of tuna, 20 cans of pineapple, 3 bags of chocolate chips, a dozen cans each of carrots, green beans, corn, mixed veggies, beets, spinach, tomatoes and peas, 10 cans of baked beans, 26 cans spaghetti sauce, 4 cans Spaghettios, 4 cans each of garbanzo beans and black beans, 11 boxes of cake mix, 5 boxes muffin mix, 20 cans of expired creamed soup (that I promptly discarded), but only one can of evaporated milk. I guess I should put it on my grocery list.

Jason went to the doctor today. He weighed 10lb. 12 oz., was 23 1/2 in., head circumference was 15 3/4 in.

Bradley let out a loud, resonating, innocent belch during a very reverent segment of church this morning. It turned several heads but thankfully he redeemed himself with a loud "Excuse me."

I was on the computer this afternoon when I heard the kids playing near and around the Christmas tree. They were taking the candy canes off the tree. I told them not to play with them. Disobeying my command they continued to do so and then I heard a jingling noise and crash. Out of the corner of my eye I could see the tree shaking and Bradley jumping off a tall stool bouncing kind of into the tree and onto the floor. The crash I heard was a glass ornament shattered on the floor. I was furious at the result of their disobedience and trying to maintain my patience I grabbed the handful of 8 or so candy canes from Emily's hand, held them up with my own two hands and dramatically cracked them all in half. Emily was devastated.

Tonight I took Bradley and Jason shopping. Bradley is a shopping trooper. He seldom complains and he always finds something to occupy him as I browse the aisles. We were out until about 10PM, much past his bedtime. When we got home he cheerfully got himself ready for bed and came downstairs to show David and I his Blue's Clues pajamas and shiny, clean teeth. David then asked him who he wanted to take him to bed, Daddy or Mommy. Bradley looked back and forth between his two parents for several moments thinking. Meanwhile, David and I were both touched that he loved both of us so much that he had difficulty deciding. However, it became evident by his response that he was actually thinking of how to kindly break the news when he so tactfully replied with a nervous smile, "Uh, I can do it myself."

We got our Christmas tree last night and the kids and I decorated it today. I was pretty much the referee as the kids went crazy putting on the ornaments. Emily begged me last year to put colored lights on the tree this year. I bought some colored lights last year on clearance after Christmas so her plea could be granted. We only had two ornament casualites. One was a gold cheapo glass ball. No big deal. The other was a small glass angel. We salvaged her head and it remains on the tree.

Mmmm. Yummy. I found this under a bookshelf this evening. Yes, that is mold.

Our toothless Wendy - 17 months old

(She's cuter in person.)

Bradley has a toy R2D2 and C3PO. When David realized that these characters were foreign to our children, he briefly cultured them in Star Wars by showing them the first few minutes of Episode IV. The kids were amused and delighted to stay up several minutes past their bedtime. Later when it was my turn to tuck them into bed, Bradley held up his golden robot and said, "Mommy, his name is Steve 3PO!"

Tonight Bradley unscrewed a brand new bottle of baby wash, the pump wasn't even popped up yet, and dumped it in the bath tub. I was so frustrated that he did that. It's not that I cared about the soap or anything because it only cost 99 cents. It's the fact that now I have to remember to get some the next time I go to the store. However, they did have fun with their bubble bath. They put the bubbles on their face and pretended they were Santa.

You know how when you get around to cleaning under the couch cushions you find all sorts of stuff such as coins, pencils, combs, cheerios, dried up Play-doh, M&Ms, checkers, barrettes, rubberbands, the 2 of clubs, calculators, Barbie shoes? Today I found a can of green beans.

Watching TV in this position adds variety to the repeats.

Scene of the Day: Bradley walking into the playroom holding a toy princess Belle cellphone to his ear and coming out seconds later with a stuffed Christmas bear in one arm and holding the bottom of a saw-offed mildewed table leg pretending to lick it like an ice cream cone, then nonchalantly tossing the table leg into the baby crib and proceeding as directed by Daddy to the couch for Family Home Evening.

Tonight the kids were in bed and I overheard a conversation between Bradley and Emily as I walked by their room. I could hear Emily say, "Bradley, go downstairs and say, 'Daddy, I have something to tell you.'. Then he will say, 'Yes?'. Then you say, 'Where is the comb?'." Bradley replied, "Ok, I will go do that." So I prepared David by telling him that he would soon have a visitor asking for a comb. When Bradley came downstairs to carry out the well-planned plot, he was quite amused and impressed when Daddy pulled a comb out from behind his ear. However, the magic wasn't quite good enough because he was looking for the comb with the handle. After a moment of thought Bradley said, "Daddy, check my other ear."

I ordered my new Dell today.

Baby Jason: "I don't know these people."

Today I parked the van where I always park it and I somehow managed to hit a tree. It put a giant dent in one of the side doors of the van and did some minor damage to the other door. I mourned my pitiful mistake most of the day. With one eye closed I looked up how much replacement doors will cost. Now I see it as a beautiful blemish. No rush.

I think just about everyday at least one of my kids will do something that just makes me want to scream in frustration. Today it was Bradley who I asked to pick up the array of naked Kelly dolls off the playroom floor and put them in their 2 quart Sterilite container before I allowed him on the computer. I thought it was a simple and straightforward task for a four year old to easily accomplish. For some reason he interpreted that to mean put all 26 Kelly dolls in the bathroom sink, turn the water on and give them a communal bath. Why? Why? Why? So now my kitchen counter is serving as a Kelly doll drip dry center. Maybe we will go out to dinner tonight. Hey -- Thanks Bradley!

I'm gettin' a new computer! I'm gettin' a new computer!

Today I took the kids to the park. For us the park is an event and we spent two solid hours there. After the park we drove to the credit union to deposit some checks (drive thru, of course.) When we arrived home, I felt really good about giving my kids a good day out in the fresh air and time to run around. The minute we walked in the door, Emily said, "Mommy, what do you want to do today?"

Tonight I announced that we were having frozen pizza for dinner. Halfway apologizing to David for the lazy meal, I explained that I needed to use it so that I could make room for the frozen apple pie I'm going to buy on Saturday for Thanksgiving. I call myself a Martha Stewart fan. I probably should not renew my subscription this year. On Today this morning when Meredith Viera asked Martha if you could use canned sweet potato for the recipe she was demonstrating, Martha scoffed and said not to simplify life. And how many kids did she have?

I gave a strong parental recommendation to Emily this morning to change her underwear. With a puzzled look on her face she asked, "Why? They're not wet."

Today I took my kids to the park for the first time in a long time. I feel bad because the typical park to my kids is the equivalent to Disneyland to most other kids. It's as if they get out of the van and are in awe that Mommy actually took them to the park. As we arrived there was a mother with her two children leaving. I set Jason in his infant car seat on the ground and the mom commented to her young daughter, "Look at the baby." Then I pulled Sarah (2 1/2) out of our silver 12 passenger van and stood her on the grass next to Emily and the mom said, "Oh look, another baby." As I reached in the van for Wendy (16 months) I wondered to myself what she was going to say. As I placed Wendy next to Sarah at the same time Bradley jumped from the van she asked in amazement, "Are these all yours?" I said they were and she said, "I thought I was busy with two kids." I politely responded with, "I think a mother is busy no matter how many children she has."

Our children are in the early stages of name calling. The big bad name to use right now is 'BABY'. To 2, 4, and 5 year olds, it's a horrible thing to be called a baby. On many occassions the name has resulted in tears. Tonight as the kids were getting ready for bed, Bradley did something to irritate Sarah. In the midst of her frustration she yelled in her husky voice some toddler cursing and departed from the current 'BABY' and shouted, "DOGGIE!" It failed to make Bradley angry because we all busted out laughing.

Happy 4th Birthday, Bradley!

We have a policy in our house that if you don't like what we are having for dinner you are responsible for fixing something for yourself. To avoid going to bed hungry Emily became competent in using the manual can opener to open a can of spaghettios. It's all about survival of the fittest.

Happy Halloween!

You know (or hope) there are kids living in the house when you walk in the room and find this:

Our Beautiful Baby

Happy Birthday Evan...I mean Jason!

Baby #5 Birth Story

Jason Matthew
7 lb. 6 oz.
20 in.
12:50ish PM

I say he was born at 12:50ish because he was nearly born in the car. It was a crazy experience, let me tell you! One that I would never wish upon anyone - EVER!!

I had a doctor appointment at 9:30 am. I was about 2-3cm with a soft cervix but no contractions. I went home depressed thinking that I was going to have to either be induced the following week or live with him inside me forever. Well, my first contraction surprisingly hit at 11:20 am while I was sulking, ignoring my children, and watching The View. I called David and told him he should probably come home, and then I went upstairs to file a nail. As he finished things up at work, my contractions started getting closer and more intense. I spent the next hour on my hands and knees to relieve the uncomfortable pressure I was feeling, while my mom tried to keep the children occupied and from getting freaked out by my moans. Emily kept asking, "What are you doing, Mommy?" I'm pretty sure my mom was a little freaked out she was going to have to deliver a baby, but she did a great job at keeping calm.

David finally made it home at about 12:30 PM. I was waiting outside ready with a trash bag to put on the car seat in case my water broke on the way. David's car was low on gas so we had to take the 12 passenger van. I miraculously got myself inside and we raced to the hospital. I was SO scared that the baby was going to come out in the car and I have never prayed so sincerely in my life! I prayed aloud and pleaded that we would be safe and watched over and that the baby would just stay snuggly inside me until we arrived to the hospital. All the while David cursed at the slow drivers.

My doctor's office was expecting me to go there first, but David called and told them that we were going straight to the emergency room. They tried to convince us to go to the office first, but we emphatically told them that we were going to the emergency room. They were unhappy with our bossiness, but told us they would have somebody waiting there for us. As we pulled up to the ER there was nobody there.

What the heck?!

I guess they didn't understand the urgency and thought we were some paranoid first time parents overreacting to normal labor pains. David ran inside and left me alone in the van. I loudly wailed in pain and banged on the ceiling of the van as I waited for help, while a hospital employee on his smoke break stared at the direction of our car in confusion. It seemed like forever, but finally David and the ER staff came with a stretcher. They looked up at me in the van, patted the vinyl padding of the stretcher like I was a puppy and told me to get on it. I simply yelled, "There is a baby coming out!" They blankly stared at me and after I realized they were not going to help me, I somehow managed to get myself out of the van and onto the stretcher hoping at least one of the staff members was good at catching. A mere seconds after I laid down I felt a gush of water and a head emerging out of my crotch.

I yelled again, "He's coming!"

At this point they had wheeled me approximately 10 feet inside the building and were trying to figure out in which ER room to put me. It was then that I felt an uncontrollable urge to push, and even though I was trying my absolute darndest not to push, nature took over and I felt a head pop out. Now keep in mind I was still fully clothed and thank goodness I was wearing my loose gaucho pants! A little freaked out by the situation, I yelled, "His head is out!"

They seemed to ignore my exclamation and they continued to wheel me to a room. Meanwhile David pulled my pants down as the stretcher was rolling (I'm thankful for a husband who thinks on his feet) and confirmed that there was a baby's head. So there in the hallway of the ER the male nurse, Jeff, proceeded to deliver the shoulders and little Jason was born!

Nobody knows the exact time he was born because it all happened so fast. And to my amazement, the ER is not very prepared to deliver babies. I think I realized this when my husband said to the male doctor, "Aren't you supposed to clamp the umbilical cord before cutting it?" Apparently there usually must be enough time to get the mother upstairs to the OB floor before a baby is born. Thankfully my doctor was at the hospital and came down as soon as he could. He too was shocked at my speedy bullet baby considering he had just examined me a few hours earlier. He at least got the pleasure of delivering the placenta.

It was quite a traumatizing experience but very comical when reflected upon. I also have such gratitude that my prayers were answered and everything went safely. I remember it seeming to take forever for Jason to begin crying. However, the entire time the nurse bounced his silent body in front of me so that I could see him, I could sense that there was life in him and that everything was going to be ok. It certainly is a good story for Jason's virtual baby book. David is going to do some reading on how to deliver babies before the next baby is born.

Emily has an addition workbook in which she is supposed to complete a page a day. Today she was working on +1. Her younger brother Bradley (almost 4) was watching her over her shoulder and when she got to 29+1= she began writing the solution with the number 2. Bradley looked at me with a furrowed brow and said, "Hey! Mommy, that's supposed to be 30!"

It's a good thing Bradley is getting a brother because yesterday morning at breakfast he told me we needed to go to Target to buy the My Little Pony movie. And then today, he was very excited to have found Sparkleworks Pony amongst the toys in the playroom. He needs somebody to play cars and trucks with him.

I procastinated one day too long. I went upstairs to get Wendy out of her crib from her nap today and she was walking around the bedroom crying. I had just mentioned to David the day before that we needed to lower the rails on the crib but I thought we still had some more time. I wish I had a camera to see how she did it. Apparently she dismounted with grace because I didn't hear any loud thumps.

Today the kids and I made laptop computers out of cereal boxes. Emily was excited to pretend it was Saturday and work on her computer.

The children often play for awhile after we put them to bed. We accept it as long as it doesn't get too unruly. Recently they have been playing dress up and will put on clothes from the girls' closet. Bradley has taken ownership of one of Emily's pink, flowered, button-up, Old Navy, collared, puffy-sleeved shirts. He wears it over his pajamas which I promise are masculine with either trucks, cars or Buzz Lightyear. I asked them why they like dressing up and Emily said, "We're pretending it's Bradley's birthday and we are going to a party where the boys wear girl jackets." Sometimes I wonder where kids get these imaginations!

Tonight I was doing laundry upstairs for about an hour after the kids were supposedly tucked in bed. On my way downstairs, their door was closed and the light was on. I opened the door, peeked in, and found only Wendy looking a little bored in her crib. It seemed unusually quiet and I was frightened to check the bathroom where I suspected they were getting into trouble. Three small children with access to water on a second floor, especially when your house is for sale, can be a dangerous thing. So I cautiously opened the door to find the very small bathroom filled with 8 large pillows and all three children quietly and busily scrubbing away with sponges and soap at the sink and toilet. Bradley was wearing his favorite cross-dressing shirt, Emily was wearing a Cinderella hooded sweatshirt, and Sarah was wearing a much-too-small infant bathing suit hooded coverup. I was puzzled at first why they would be cleaning at their own goodwill, but apparently, according to their responses, that is what you do when you go exploring and find sponges.

Last night Emily came into our room and sweetly told me that she had wet her bed. I was unusually patient with the situation and helped her get changed. I commented that she hadn't wet the bed in a long time. She responded by saying, "Yeah, I thought I drooled, but then I realized my panties were wet."

About two weeks ago I was working with the older kids on object graphs. We were using large Lego blocks to graph the color of fruit loops. 2 year old Sarah joined us but was more interested in eating the fruit loops and having the Lego blocks talk to each other than joining us in our learning activity. However, tonight she demonstrated her subconcious listening skills when she built a single tower of randomly colored Lego blocks and proudly exclaimed, "Mommy, look at my graph!"

The other day when I was getting Emily out of the bathtub I commented on how skinny her five year old legs were. She said, "Why? Yours aren't." Kids can be brutally honest. But hey, I am 8 months pregnant! Give me a break, kid.

One day Bradley decided that baseball was his favorite game despite the fact that neither David nor I are sports fans. Apparently he likes the looks of a baseball. Today David took Bradley outside to play some baseball in the yard along with Emily. Shortly after they went outside Bradley came walking in the door and I commented, "That was quick!" Bradley replied cheerfully, "Yeah, I'm not very good at my favorite game."

Ok. Ok. Ok. I know I am a terrible blogger. My fans are threatening to boycott my website if I don't keep up with it. I have had a request for more stories about poop. That usually is not difficult, but today I was dealing with barf. Emily had a short-lived stomach virus or something. However she did poop this afternoon while I was on the phone with my dad. He asked me if I would look something up online for him while he was visiting my internet deprived 86 year old grandmother. I told him I would in a minute because I had a hiney to wipe. I failed to mention it was Emily's hiney that I was wiping and as I flushed the toilet it occurred to me that I better clarify that to him. I think he was relieved to know I was not pooping while on the phone with him. That would just be weird.

My husband is in the process of kicking his Coke habit. He went a whole day without it today. I'm so proud of him. It saves us a lot of money. Sometimes he has a little bit at work. He is trying to set a good example for the kids at home. Addictions can be so horrible. We keep a little bit on hand in the house just in case of a super urgent craving, but we try not to break into it unless he's desperate. We also buy it when we have house guests because we don't want to be boring hosts. Water can get pretty boring to drink. Oh did I mention that was Diet Coke?

Bradley is Mr. Independent. He is a 3.5 year old who is very good at doing things on his own. Today he was thirsty for milk and hungry for yogurt. So he opened the refrigerator, got out a half -full gallon of milk, a container of yogurt, and grabbed a spoon out of the drawer. He unloaded and named each item as he placed it on the kitchen table. "Spoon, yogurt, milk." Then he placed his finger to his mouth and said aloud, "Hmm. I'm missing something. I know. A cup!" Then he walked over to the cupboard and climbed on the counter and got his Spiderman cup. Bradley will make a good husband someday.

Today was the first bath Wendy has taken without crying.

Today we got home from church to find that Emily wasn't wearing panties under her dress. Unfortunately some things get overlooked when you have lots of small children.

And you thought you had a bad day!

Childhood fun!

Tonight the kids were taking a bath. Sarah had a watering can and was watering Emily. Emily slowly stood up and exclaimed, "Look, I'm growing like a flower!" Then Sarah watered Bradley as he was lying down in the tub. He exclaimed, "My penis is growing!"

Wendy's First Birthday

My 30th birthday.

Today is the day before Nana goes home. We went to the mall today and I had the opportunity to go to Motherhood. It's been labeled by my kid's as "Mommy's Store." As we walked toward the fitting rooms Bradley impulsively barged in on a woman changing. Embarrassed, I apologized and quickly hid in my own dressing room. Nana remained outside and kept her eye on the stroller while I tried a few items on. In the fitting room beside me there was another woman trying on clothes. She also had her family and 3 children there. All I could hear while I was changing was Bradley loudly announce to his siblings that the mommy had "big boobies." He continued to repeat his observation and giggled as he said it. Later I asked my mom what exactly was going on outside the fitting room. My mom verified that the woman was very voluptuous and was trying on a dress that accentuated her womanly features. The 7 year old brother in the family said, "He's nasty!" But hey, what do expect from a 3 year old that has a mommy with small boobies?

I checked on the kids before I went to bed and I found Wendy in her crib like this. She somehow managed to unscrew her bottle lid. The bottle was off her arm by morning.