Wendy cut her first tooth today. It was her upper left front. She will be 18 months on January first.

Dr. Cole connects the ankle bone to the knee bone. $200.

The paternal grandparents are here for a post Christmas visit. Bradley accompanied Poppa Dave to get an oil change and on a stop to the grocery store. Upon arrival home, Bradley entered the house with a sad, pouty, tear drippy face. While trying to explain the inducer of his sadness to his Daddy, Poppa Dave walked in and said, "He's not a happy boy. He was asking for a turkey the whole time while at the grocery store. I told him that we had sandwich meat at home. But he still kept crying for a turkey." Overhearing the conversation while playing Littlest Pet Shop with Sarah I chimed in, "I think he wanted a cookie. We get a free cookie every time we go to the grocery store." Ahhh! Now that makes more sense.

Merry Christmas Eve!

(There is a Christmas tree in back of us)

Back Row: Cindy, Tom, Papa, Nana, Nay Nay, Sarah (sleeping)
Middle Row: Steven, Tommy, Nani, Jason (on lap), Emily, Bradley
Kneeling: David, Melinda, Wendy (on lap)

The kids were role playing this afternoon and Bradley said, "Emily you be the sweetie pie mommy, I'll be the daddy and Sarah will be the Christmas tree."

Bradley demonstrated his art knowledge when he and Emily were discussing what foods they resembled in relation to their color of clothing. Emily originally determined she was a banana with her brightly colored yellow shirt. Bradley disagreed. He thought since Emily was wearing blue jeans she should declare herself a pickle because yellow and blue make green and pickles are green.

We went to see Christmas lights. The kids got cotton candy. When David gave Bradley a piece of the delightful treat, Bradley asked with a grimaced face, "Why is it furry?" I can't believe my kids don't like cotton candy. I thought that it was a childhood staple.

I saw a bumper sticker tonight that said "Keep the Earth clean. It's not Uranus."

Milk bubbles are normally a no-no, but apparently Auntie Nay Nay encouraged it for a photo op.

I called the cable company today to troubleshoot a problem with my DVR. The rep could hear Jason and she asked how old he is and I said, "He's two months." Later in the conversation Sarah was sitting beside me reaching for the remote and repeatedly asking, "I do it? I do it?" in her deep, husky voice. The rep then asked me, "You have two little boys?" Poor Sarah! David optimistically says she's going to have the sultry singing voice.

Sarah was playing with the Christmas Little People this afternoon and I heard the following conversation:
"Don't kill my friend."
"Why?'
"She's my friend!"

Today a friend of mine who lives nearby called to borrow 2 cans of evaporated milk. Confident I had some, I looked in my cupboards and found 30 cans of tuna, 20 cans of pineapple, 3 bags of chocolate chips, a dozen cans each of carrots, green beans, corn, mixed veggies, beets, spinach, tomatoes and peas, 10 cans of baked beans, 26 cans spaghetti sauce, 4 cans Spaghettios, 4 cans each of garbanzo beans and black beans, 11 boxes of cake mix, 5 boxes muffin mix, 20 cans of expired creamed soup (that I promptly discarded), but only one can of evaporated milk. I guess I should put it on my grocery list.

Jason went to the doctor today. He weighed 10lb. 12 oz., was 23 1/2 in., head circumference was 15 3/4 in.

Bradley let out a loud, resonating, innocent belch during a very reverent segment of church this morning. It turned several heads but thankfully he redeemed himself with a loud "Excuse me."

I was on the computer this afternoon when I heard the kids playing near and around the Christmas tree. They were taking the candy canes off the tree. I told them not to play with them. Disobeying my command they continued to do so and then I heard a jingling noise and crash. Out of the corner of my eye I could see the tree shaking and Bradley jumping off a tall stool bouncing kind of into the tree and onto the floor. The crash I heard was a glass ornament shattered on the floor. I was furious at the result of their disobedience and trying to maintain my patience I grabbed the handful of 8 or so candy canes from Emily's hand, held them up with my own two hands and dramatically cracked them all in half. Emily was devastated.

Tonight I took Bradley and Jason shopping. Bradley is a shopping trooper. He seldom complains and he always finds something to occupy him as I browse the aisles. We were out until about 10PM, much past his bedtime. When we got home he cheerfully got himself ready for bed and came downstairs to show David and I his Blue's Clues pajamas and shiny, clean teeth. David then asked him who he wanted to take him to bed, Daddy or Mommy. Bradley looked back and forth between his two parents for several moments thinking. Meanwhile, David and I were both touched that he loved both of us so much that he had difficulty deciding. However, it became evident by his response that he was actually thinking of how to kindly break the news when he so tactfully replied with a nervous smile, "Uh, I can do it myself."

We got our Christmas tree last night and the kids and I decorated it today. I was pretty much the referee as the kids went crazy putting on the ornaments. Emily begged me last year to put colored lights on the tree this year. I bought some colored lights last year on clearance after Christmas so her plea could be granted. We only had two ornament casualites. One was a gold cheapo glass ball. No big deal. The other was a small glass angel. We salvaged her head and it remains on the tree.

Mmmm. Yummy. I found this under a bookshelf this evening. Yes, that is mold.

Our toothless Wendy - 17 months old

(She's cuter in person.)

Bradley has a toy R2D2 and C3PO. When David realized that these characters were foreign to our children, he briefly cultured them in Star Wars by showing them the first few minutes of Episode IV. The kids were amused and delighted to stay up several minutes past their bedtime. Later when it was my turn to tuck them into bed, Bradley held up his golden robot and said, "Mommy, his name is Steve 3PO!"

Tonight Bradley unscrewed a brand new bottle of baby wash, the pump wasn't even popped up yet, and dumped it in the bath tub. I was so frustrated that he did that. It's not that I cared about the soap or anything because it only cost 99 cents. It's the fact that now I have to remember to get some the next time I go to the store. However, they did have fun with their bubble bath. They put the bubbles on their face and pretended they were Santa.

You know how when you get around to cleaning under the couch cushions you find all sorts of stuff such as coins, pencils, combs, cheerios, dried up Play-doh, M&Ms, checkers, barrettes, rubberbands, the 2 of clubs, calculators, Barbie shoes? Today I found a can of green beans.

Watching TV in this position adds variety to the repeats.

Scene of the Day: Bradley walking into the playroom holding a toy princess Belle cellphone to his ear and coming out seconds later with a stuffed Christmas bear in one arm and holding the bottom of a saw-offed mildewed table leg pretending to lick it like an ice cream cone, then nonchalantly tossing the table leg into the baby crib and proceeding as directed by Daddy to the couch for Family Home Evening.

Tonight the kids were in bed and I overheard a conversation between Bradley and Emily as I walked by their room. I could hear Emily say, "Bradley, go downstairs and say, 'Daddy, I have something to tell you.'. Then he will say, 'Yes?'. Then you say, 'Where is the comb?'." Bradley replied, "Ok, I will go do that." So I prepared David by telling him that he would soon have a visitor asking for a comb. When Bradley came downstairs to carry out the well-planned plot, he was quite amused and impressed when Daddy pulled a comb out from behind his ear. However, the magic wasn't quite good enough because he was looking for the comb with the handle. After a moment of thought Bradley said, "Daddy, check my other ear."

I ordered my new Dell today.

Baby Jason: "I don't know these people."

Today I parked the van where I always park it and I somehow managed to hit a tree. It put a giant dent in one of the side doors of the van and did some minor damage to the other door. I mourned my pitiful mistake most of the day. With one eye closed I looked up how much replacement doors will cost. Now I see it as a beautiful blemish. No rush.

I think just about everyday at least one of my kids will do something that just makes me want to scream in frustration. Today it was Bradley who I asked to pick up the array of naked Kelly dolls off the playroom floor and put them in their 2 quart Sterilite container before I allowed him on the computer. I thought it was a simple and straightforward task for a four year old to easily accomplish. For some reason he interpreted that to mean put all 26 Kelly dolls in the bathroom sink, turn the water on and give them a communal bath. Why? Why? Why? So now my kitchen counter is serving as a Kelly doll drip dry center. Maybe we will go out to dinner tonight. Hey -- Thanks Bradley!

I'm gettin' a new computer! I'm gettin' a new computer!

Today I took the kids to the park. For us the park is an event and we spent two solid hours there. After the park we drove to the credit union to deposit some checks (drive thru, of course.) When we arrived home, I felt really good about giving my kids a good day out in the fresh air and time to run around. The minute we walked in the door, Emily said, "Mommy, what do you want to do today?"

Tonight I announced that we were having frozen pizza for dinner. Halfway apologizing to David for the lazy meal, I explained that I needed to use it so that I could make room for the frozen apple pie I'm going to buy on Saturday for Thanksgiving. I call myself a Martha Stewart fan. I probably should not renew my subscription this year. On Today this morning when Meredith Viera asked Martha if you could use canned sweet potato for the recipe she was demonstrating, Martha scoffed and said not to simplify life. And how many kids did she have?

I gave a strong parental recommendation to Emily this morning to change her underwear. With a puzzled look on her face she asked, "Why? They're not wet."

Today I took my kids to the park for the first time in a long time. I feel bad because the typical park to my kids is the equivalent to Disneyland to most other kids. It's as if they get out of the van and are in awe that Mommy actually took them to the park. As we arrived there was a mother with her two children leaving. I set Jason in his infant car seat on the ground and the mom commented to her young daughter, "Look at the baby." Then I pulled Sarah (2 1/2) out of our silver 12 passenger van and stood her on the grass next to Emily and the mom said, "Oh look, another baby." As I reached in the van for Wendy (16 months) I wondered to myself what she was going to say. As I placed Wendy next to Sarah at the same time Bradley jumped from the van she asked in amazement, "Are these all yours?" I said they were and she said, "I thought I was busy with two kids." I politely responded with, "I think a mother is busy no matter how many children she has."

Our children are in the early stages of name calling. The big bad name to use right now is 'BABY'. To 2, 4, and 5 year olds, it's a horrible thing to be called a baby. On many occassions the name has resulted in tears. Tonight as the kids were getting ready for bed, Bradley did something to irritate Sarah. In the midst of her frustration she yelled in her husky voice some toddler cursing and departed from the current 'BABY' and shouted, "DOGGIE!" It failed to make Bradley angry because we all busted out laughing.

Happy 4th Birthday, Bradley!

We have a policy in our house that if you don't like what we are having for dinner you are responsible for fixing something for yourself. To avoid going to bed hungry Emily became competent in using the manual can opener to open a can of spaghettios. It's all about survival of the fittest.

Happy Halloween!

You know (or hope) there are kids living in the house when you walk in the room and find this:

Our Beautiful Baby

Happy Birthday Evan...I mean Jason!

Baby #5 Birth Story

Jason Matthew
7 lb. 6 oz.
20 in.
12:50ish PM

I say he was born at 12:50ish because he was nearly born in the car. It was a crazy experience, let me tell you! One that I would never wish upon anyone - EVER!!

I had a doctor appointment at 9:30 am. I was about 2-3cm with a soft cervix but no contractions. I went home depressed thinking that I was going to have to either be induced the following week or live with him inside me forever. Well, my first contraction surprisingly hit at 11:20 am while I was sulking, ignoring my children, and watching The View. I called David and told him he should probably come home, and then I went upstairs to file a nail. As he finished things up at work, my contractions started getting closer and more intense. I spent the next hour on my hands and knees to relieve the uncomfortable pressure I was feeling, while my mom tried to keep the children occupied and from getting freaked out by my moans. Emily kept asking, "What are you doing, Mommy?" I'm pretty sure my mom was a little freaked out she was going to have to deliver a baby, but she did a great job at keeping calm.

David finally made it home at about 12:30 PM. I was waiting outside ready with a trash bag to put on the car seat in case my water broke on the way. David's car was low on gas so we had to take the 12 passenger van. I miraculously got myself inside and we raced to the hospital. I was SO scared that the baby was going to come out in the car and I have never prayed so sincerely in my life! I prayed aloud and pleaded that we would be safe and watched over and that the baby would just stay snuggly inside me until we arrived to the hospital. All the while David cursed at the slow drivers.

My doctor's office was expecting me to go there first, but David called and told them that we were going straight to the emergency room. They tried to convince us to go to the office first, but we emphatically told them that we were going to the emergency room. They were unhappy with our bossiness, but told us they would have somebody waiting there for us. As we pulled up to the ER there was nobody there.

What the heck?!

I guess they didn't understand the urgency and thought we were some paranoid first time parents overreacting to normal labor pains. David ran inside and left me alone in the van. I loudly wailed in pain and banged on the ceiling of the van as I waited for help, while a hospital employee on his smoke break stared at the direction of our car in confusion. It seemed like forever, but finally David and the ER staff came with a stretcher. They looked up at me in the van, patted the vinyl padding of the stretcher like I was a puppy and told me to get on it. I simply yelled, "There is a baby coming out!" They blankly stared at me and after I realized they were not going to help me, I somehow managed to get myself out of the van and onto the stretcher hoping at least one of the staff members was good at catching. A mere seconds after I laid down I felt a gush of water and a head emerging out of my crotch.

I yelled again, "He's coming!"

At this point they had wheeled me approximately 10 feet inside the building and were trying to figure out in which ER room to put me. It was then that I felt an uncontrollable urge to push, and even though I was trying my absolute darndest not to push, nature took over and I felt a head pop out. Now keep in mind I was still fully clothed and thank goodness I was wearing my loose gaucho pants! A little freaked out by the situation, I yelled, "His head is out!"

They seemed to ignore my exclamation and they continued to wheel me to a room. Meanwhile David pulled my pants down as the stretcher was rolling (I'm thankful for a husband who thinks on his feet) and confirmed that there was a baby's head. So there in the hallway of the ER the male nurse, Jeff, proceeded to deliver the shoulders and little Jason was born!

Nobody knows the exact time he was born because it all happened so fast. And to my amazement, the ER is not very prepared to deliver babies. I think I realized this when my husband said to the male doctor, "Aren't you supposed to clamp the umbilical cord before cutting it?" Apparently there usually must be enough time to get the mother upstairs to the OB floor before a baby is born. Thankfully my doctor was at the hospital and came down as soon as he could. He too was shocked at my speedy bullet baby considering he had just examined me a few hours earlier. He at least got the pleasure of delivering the placenta.

It was quite a traumatizing experience but very comical when reflected upon. I also have such gratitude that my prayers were answered and everything went safely. I remember it seeming to take forever for Jason to begin crying. However, the entire time the nurse bounced his silent body in front of me so that I could see him, I could sense that there was life in him and that everything was going to be ok. It certainly is a good story for Jason's virtual baby book. David is going to do some reading on how to deliver babies before the next baby is born.

Emily has an addition workbook in which she is supposed to complete a page a day. Today she was working on +1. Her younger brother Bradley (almost 4) was watching her over her shoulder and when she got to 29+1= she began writing the solution with the number 2. Bradley looked at me with a furrowed brow and said, "Hey! Mommy, that's supposed to be 30!"

It's a good thing Bradley is getting a brother because yesterday morning at breakfast he told me we needed to go to Target to buy the My Little Pony movie. And then today, he was very excited to have found Sparkleworks Pony amongst the toys in the playroom. He needs somebody to play cars and trucks with him.

I procastinated one day too long. I went upstairs to get Wendy out of her crib from her nap today and she was walking around the bedroom crying. I had just mentioned to David the day before that we needed to lower the rails on the crib but I thought we still had some more time. I wish I had a camera to see how she did it. Apparently she dismounted with grace because I didn't hear any loud thumps.

Today the kids and I made laptop computers out of cereal boxes. Emily was excited to pretend it was Saturday and work on her computer.

The children often play for awhile after we put them to bed. We accept it as long as it doesn't get too unruly. Recently they have been playing dress up and will put on clothes from the girls' closet. Bradley has taken ownership of one of Emily's pink, flowered, button-up, Old Navy, collared, puffy-sleeved shirts. He wears it over his pajamas which I promise are masculine with either trucks, cars or Buzz Lightyear. I asked them why they like dressing up and Emily said, "We're pretending it's Bradley's birthday and we are going to a party where the boys wear girl jackets." Sometimes I wonder where kids get these imaginations!

Tonight I was doing laundry upstairs for about an hour after the kids were supposedly tucked in bed. On my way downstairs, their door was closed and the light was on. I opened the door, peeked in, and found only Wendy looking a little bored in her crib. It seemed unusually quiet and I was frightened to check the bathroom where I suspected they were getting into trouble. Three small children with access to water on a second floor, especially when your house is for sale, can be a dangerous thing. So I cautiously opened the door to find the very small bathroom filled with 8 large pillows and all three children quietly and busily scrubbing away with sponges and soap at the sink and toilet. Bradley was wearing his favorite cross-dressing shirt, Emily was wearing a Cinderella hooded sweatshirt, and Sarah was wearing a much-too-small infant bathing suit hooded coverup. I was puzzled at first why they would be cleaning at their own goodwill, but apparently, according to their responses, that is what you do when you go exploring and find sponges.

Last night Emily came into our room and sweetly told me that she had wet her bed. I was unusually patient with the situation and helped her get changed. I commented that she hadn't wet the bed in a long time. She responded by saying, "Yeah, I thought I drooled, but then I realized my panties were wet."

About two weeks ago I was working with the older kids on object graphs. We were using large Lego blocks to graph the color of fruit loops. 2 year old Sarah joined us but was more interested in eating the fruit loops and having the Lego blocks talk to each other than joining us in our learning activity. However, tonight she demonstrated her subconcious listening skills when she built a single tower of randomly colored Lego blocks and proudly exclaimed, "Mommy, look at my graph!"

The other day when I was getting Emily out of the bathtub I commented on how skinny her five year old legs were. She said, "Why? Yours aren't." Kids can be brutally honest. But hey, I am 8 months pregnant! Give me a break, kid.

One day Bradley decided that baseball was his favorite game despite the fact that neither David nor I are sports fans. Apparently he likes the looks of a baseball. Today David took Bradley outside to play some baseball in the yard along with Emily. Shortly after they went outside Bradley came walking in the door and I commented, "That was quick!" Bradley replied cheerfully, "Yeah, I'm not very good at my favorite game."

Ok. Ok. Ok. I know I am a terrible blogger. My fans are threatening to boycott my website if I don't keep up with it. I have had a request for more stories about poop. That usually is not difficult, but today I was dealing with barf. Emily had a short-lived stomach virus or something. However she did poop this afternoon while I was on the phone with my dad. He asked me if I would look something up online for him while he was visiting my internet deprived 86 year old grandmother. I told him I would in a minute because I had a hiney to wipe. I failed to mention it was Emily's hiney that I was wiping and as I flushed the toilet it occurred to me that I better clarify that to him. I think he was relieved to know I was not pooping while on the phone with him. That would just be weird.

My husband is in the process of kicking his Coke habit. He went a whole day without it today. I'm so proud of him. It saves us a lot of money. Sometimes he has a little bit at work. He is trying to set a good example for the kids at home. Addictions can be so horrible. We keep a little bit on hand in the house just in case of a super urgent craving, but we try not to break into it unless he's desperate. We also buy it when we have house guests because we don't want to be boring hosts. Water can get pretty boring to drink. Oh did I mention that was Diet Coke?

Bradley is Mr. Independent. He is a 3.5 year old who is very good at doing things on his own. Today he was thirsty for milk and hungry for yogurt. So he opened the refrigerator, got out a half -full gallon of milk, a container of yogurt, and grabbed a spoon out of the drawer. He unloaded and named each item as he placed it on the kitchen table. "Spoon, yogurt, milk." Then he placed his finger to his mouth and said aloud, "Hmm. I'm missing something. I know. A cup!" Then he walked over to the cupboard and climbed on the counter and got his Spiderman cup. Bradley will make a good husband someday.

Today was the first bath Wendy has taken without crying.

Today we got home from church to find that Emily wasn't wearing panties under her dress. Unfortunately some things get overlooked when you have lots of small children.

And you thought you had a bad day!

Childhood fun!

Tonight the kids were taking a bath. Sarah had a watering can and was watering Emily. Emily slowly stood up and exclaimed, "Look, I'm growing like a flower!" Then Sarah watered Bradley as he was lying down in the tub. He exclaimed, "My penis is growing!"

Wendy's First Birthday

My 30th birthday.

Today is the day before Nana goes home. We went to the mall today and I had the opportunity to go to Motherhood. It's been labeled by my kid's as "Mommy's Store." As we walked toward the fitting rooms Bradley impulsively barged in on a woman changing. Embarrassed, I apologized and quickly hid in my own dressing room. Nana remained outside and kept her eye on the stroller while I tried a few items on. In the fitting room beside me there was another woman trying on clothes. She also had her family and 3 children there. All I could hear while I was changing was Bradley loudly announce to his siblings that the mommy had "big boobies." He continued to repeat his observation and giggled as he said it. Later I asked my mom what exactly was going on outside the fitting room. My mom verified that the woman was very voluptuous and was trying on a dress that accentuated her womanly features. The 7 year old brother in the family said, "He's nasty!" But hey, what do expect from a 3 year old that has a mommy with small boobies?

I checked on the kids before I went to bed and I found Wendy in her crib like this. She somehow managed to unscrew her bottle lid. The bottle was off her arm by morning.

Today Sarah took off her diaper while watching Pinky Dinky Doo. Emily came to tell me she had to show me something. The cushions were off the couch and and there lay Wendy reaching for a freshly outputted poop. While I was cleaning it up Emily said to me, "Mommy, when I have cheese in my mouth and I smell poop it makes me choke."

Occasionally my kids will accidentally spill their cereal and milk onto the table. The frugal and lazy mom I am, I usually put the cereal back in the bowl, grab a Bounty quicker-picker-upper, soak up the milk and squeeze it back into the bowl over the cereal. Does that make me a bad mom?

2-year old incompetence.

Wendy is definitely taking multiple steps. A couple of days ago she could only step her left foot forward so she would pretty much just go in a circle. Today she mastered the right leg and will be walking before we know it. Go Wendy!

Today we started our vegetable garden. We took the kids to Lowes to pick out their vegetable plant. David and the kids are growing peppers, oregano and cilantro and I am growing tomatoes and basil. We also bought a small rosemary bush to plant in the yard. The kids carried their plants so proudly. I hope we are successful.

Happy Anniversary to us! 6 years. This morning I asked Bradley if he wanted a sister or brother. His answer was, "A sister." I asked him why he didn't want a brother. His answer implied that he had actually given thought to the situation and he said, "Cause, then there would be two brothers. I want a sister."

We went to a burrito place for dinner and Lowes after to get stuff for our new vegetable garden. It was a thrilling anniversary.

Today was Wendy's first Easter. She didn't even get a piece of candy, poor thing! But she did get to spend some special Mommy and Daddy time this evening after the other kids were asleep. She learned how to wave "hi." We had an Easter egg hunt out in the yard today. Emily is a bit psycho and competitive when it comes to finding eggs. She crashed into Bradley and was always trying to beat out poor little Sarah. Today at church the primary kids sang three Easter songs, but Bradley refused to go up and sing. When I asked him at home why he didn't want to sing he replied, "Cause, I didn't know the notes." Bradley is the type of kid who won't do anything until he can do it right. Emily, on the other hand, is our star performer. She wants to be a singer when she grows up. She is learning how to call David and I on certain things now. For example the other evening we asked the kids to pick up the family room. While they were clearing their toys Emily observed that David was sitting on the floor and not participating. She informed him that he needed to help because it was "distracting" with him just sitting there.

Today Emily turned five. The last present she opened was a Disney Princess bicycle helmet. She liked it and was excited to try it out, so we went outside. At the bottom of the stairs was a brand new Disney Princess bicycle. She was surprised and thrilled. She exclaimed, "A new bike! I thought I was going to ride my red bike and you guys tricked me. What a great surprise!" Then Bradley checked out the new bike and admiringly said, "Emily, that's beautiful!" So it was a good day for Emily. We went to our traditional birthday celebration dinner location, IHOP. Unfortunately we have few pictures because Wendy pulled the camera off the shelf and it broke. However, I have been wanting a new camera, so hooray! New camera time.

Tonight at dinner I had an amazing discovery. You see, I have been looking forward to the year 2006 for many many years. I turn 30 this year which may cause you to question why I might anticipate that with enthusiasm. I have been blessed with a birthday that falls on the 30th of June which makes this birthday my "extra special" birthday. Since my childhood I have looked forward to turning 30 on the 30th. But...my amazing discovery is that the year 2006 is also the year in which three of my four children experience their "extra special" birthday. In just 2 days Emily will turn 5 on the 5th, Wendy will turn 1 on the 1st of July and Bradley will turn 4 on the 4th of November. It really is too bad that Sarah didn't wait 20 more hours to be born on February 2nd. Oh well, her loss.

We ate Cheetos for a snack today. Bradley observed that the the crunching sound was loud. So he said he better eat something else so that he didn't wake up Emily. Moments later I saw Bradley walking around with orange fingers. I said to him, "Let me wipe the orange off your fingers." He corrected, "Mommy, their 'Cheetoed'".

A real live baby doll.

Happy Saint Patrick's Day!

Emily's sticker muzzle.

Happy Birthday Daddy!

This morning the kids woke up too early. They entered our bedroom just before 8 AM. When they finally got bored when we didn't let them watch cartoons, they left and played in the girls' room. After a few moments I could hear giggling and a baby Wendy crying. It's unusual for Wendy to cry in the morning, so I got my lazy body out of bed to check on things. I figured she was hungry. But when I walked into the bedroom, I saw a crib filled to the brim with every toy and pillow in the room. She wasn't hungry, she was pleading for her life! As I dug her out, I told the kids to never do that again, and then I felt a very hard lump in the seat of Wendy's diaper. My mind was turning, trying to think of what she could have possibly eaten to produce a turd that large and solid. Frightened, I unsnapped her sleeper and opened her diaper to find a plastic piece of pineapple and a 4in.X2in.X1in. loaf of wooden bread. Apparently the kids thought it was amusing to stuff her diaper with play food the evening before. I am curious as to what the babysitter was thinking last night when she took Wendy up to bed. Wendy is a very tolerant baby.

Today I took Bradley and Emily to see Curious George at the movie theater. I thought I had a brilliant idea of buying 20 oz. bottles of soda to sneak in. Unfortunately, Bradley drank his whole bottle and some of mine. He told me he had to go potty, but I convinced him he could hold it until the end of the movie. He was very good at being patient, but at the last five minutes he firmly declared that he had to go potty or he was going to go in his pants. So we left and missed the ending. However, it was worth it to see Bradley sit on the potty and hear him say, "Ahhhhh, that's better!"

"The Diaper"

I apologize to my fans for the extended delay in my posts. You see, my kids just don't do funny things when I have morning sickness. (Yes, that's right, number five is on its way.) Anyway, today was pretty good day. I was ambitious enough to attempt to organize the playroom. We counted the Lego pieces, sorted Mr. Potato Head parts, gathered Connect Four checker pieces, dressed the Barbie and Kelly dolls, and put things back in their places. So I hope to do better on my posts. We'll see. Don't give up on me.

Last night Emily recognized and acknowledged the fact that it feels good to laugh. She and David played the game where one would try to make the other laugh and the other would try not to laugh. Bradley joined in later on. David used the philosophy if it works, keep doing it. So the fart sounds repeatedly got the laughter.

Bradley accidentally dropped a container of colored pencils today. I asked him nicely to pick them up and as he looked at the mess he stated that he needed help. Looking at the colorful pile of pencils reminded me of the classic childhood game of Pick Up Sticks. I guess as a child the game seemed fun. But, come on, really? Let's give a group of kids a bunch of sharply pointed sticks, tell them to scatter them on the floor and have a grand time picking them up. I'm not sure my kids will go for that game. They much rather stick plastic body parts into a plastic potato. Now that's fun!

This afternoon I took a couch nap with Sarah and Emily while David worked on the computer in the kitchen. As a parent you can never fully nap while children are still awake. I thought I heard Bradley say, "Daddy, Wendy sucked my hiney!" I opened my eyes to verify I wasn't dreaming and sure enough there was a bare-bottomed Bradley rubbing Wendy's baby saliva off of his rear onto the carpet. Kids!

Today I took my kids to the neighborhood park. They played in the sand. Bradley kept rubbing his dirty hands in his hair. When I told him to stop doing that, he innocently looked at me, showed me his sandy hands and said, "But my hands are so dirty!" When I showed him how to rub his sandy hands on his pants he said, "Ohhh. OK, Mommy!", realizing my way was a much better solution. I should probably take my kids to the park more often.

Wendy is learning at an early age the dangers of shopping.

Bouncing

Vacuum Cleaner Hickey.

Bradley has a thing about using the vacuum cleaner hose to suck up body parts. He's tried them all, hair, nose, cheek, tongue, toe, ... and yeah, that one too.

This morning Emily declared that she hated rainy days. David corrected her by explaining that "hate" is a strong word and should be used carefully when speaking. He then admitted to wrongfully using the word "hate" in his own speech. Emily was quick to politely add, "And when you drive in the car you say, 'Get out of the way, Jerk!'"

I love my children.

...especially when they are sleeping.

A child's lyrical interpretation :

I am a Child of God
I am a child of God,
And so my knees are grey.
(And so my needs are great.)

Twinkle Twinkle Little Star
Twinkle twinkle yittle (little) star,
How I wonder what you are.
Ba ba ba ba world so high.
(Up above the world so high.)

9:31 PM








...4 hours later.

I applaud my children on consistency with good manners. Tonight I asked a tired Sarah if she was ready for bed. She replied, "No, dank (thank) you."

This evening Bradley was quick to remind me of his much deserved piece of candy for pooping in the toilet earlier. Having not witnessed the event, I was skeptical. But Emily emphatically stood up for her little brother and verified, "He did poop on the potty! He did! I saw it! But we can't show you because he flushed it. It was a man-sized poop!"

Bradley's "favorite grey" pants and favorite orange elephant shirt.

Bradley is our most independent child. He selects his outfit and dresses himself everyday. This picture shows his absolute favorite outfit of "favorite grey" pants and elephant shirt. If he could, he would wear it everyday. The other day he put on a red American flag T-shirt and red pants. Five minutes later he came out of his room wearing the same shirt with jeans.

I asked him, "Bradley, what happened to your red pants?"

He metrosexually replied, "I can't wear two reds."

I think most good mothers try to monitor the amount of television their children view. I have yet to determine how much is too much. I typically justify that if I am sitting on the couch with them, then that time spent is not allocated towards "too much." Today as I was trying to clean up lunch and the plucked purple grapes scattered on the kitchen floor, the kids were mesmerized by the current episode of Dora. To pull them away from the TV, I decided to engage them in an active learning activity of sorting the Halloween candy. My next goal is deciding how much is too much sugar.

Happy 2nd Birthday Sarah!

I think most mothers despise the Nickelodean cartoon, SpongeBob Squarepants. I happen to love the cartoon and find the nautical nonsense very humorous. I welcome any opportunity to sit down and watch it with my children. Today we had SpongeBob macaroni and cheese and pineapple for lunch. Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? SpongeBob Squarepants!

Sarah turns two tomorrow. I need to go visit my stash of clearance item toys in my closet to decide what I am going to wrap for her.

A Birthday Cake

Today Emily's friend, Lana, came over to play. I asked her what she wanted to be when she grew up.
She said, "I don't know. I don't want to grow up."

I wish my kids said that.

Wendy can get herself from on her hands and knees to the sitting position. She also pulled herself up to standing in her downstairs crib today. Go Wendy! Go Wendy! Go, go, go Wendy! She is the earliest of all our kids to be able to do that. She wants so badly to be one of the big kids. I write this not to brag about my baby. I'm simply documenting. My blog is my journal, my kid's baby books, and maybe a future book of how to survive motherhood when your children are insane.

Tonight I decided to pour myself a nice refreshing glass of caffeine-free diet Pepsi before retiring to bed. Normally the caffeine-free soda is reserved for the children. I was quickly reminded why parent and child food and beverage items should never be mingled. The chunk of hot dog in the two liter bottle had infused the already flat soda with a nice Oscar Mayer beefy flavor. Not the most tasty night cap, but it was new and unusual. Maybe I will suggest it to Pepsi-Cola. They could call it Wiener Juice. Oh...wait...bad idea.

Tonight I went to Walmart. The portrait studio was gone! That is a big deal, you see, because I came up with this crazy idea when my first baby was born that I would get her picture taken once a month for her first year, every three months the second year, and once a year every year thereafter. It was a fine idea at the time and I remained faithful and diligent for the first two kids. But now that the fourth child is here, it is a little bit more difficult to actually care to take the time to make the appointment and find the time to go alone with her. (I still love you Wendy.) So her six month appointment totally got neglected and I totally failed to live up to my goal. When I saw the former portrait studio turned H & R Block tax center, a part of me was saddened, but a more part of me was delighted to know I no longer had to deal with the stress of dealing with an underpaid, inexperienced photographer trying to get seven good poses of a wobbly infant. I have probably just added seven years to my life by reducing a stress factor. Thank goodness for digital photography. I plan to take the monthly photos at home and at the year mark go to JC Penney. Parenthood requires adaptation.

Ring around the Rosies

Our Family
Emily's joke:
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Orange.
Orange who?
Orange farts.

Wendy is crawling. Bradley pinched his penis in a DVD case yesterday.

Every good mother should have some bubble wrap on hand. It keeps kids entertained for a good amount of time.

Have you ever been distracted from a distraction of a distraction of the original task at hand? I am very good at it.

Working Hard.

My whole spelling life (24 years) I have used the spelling dilemna. Today I found out it is actually dilemma while spell checking an email. I thought for sure my spell check was insufficient. So I went to my trusty friend Google. I was insulted when even he immediately blurted, "Did you mean: dilemma?" What? No! Have I really been wrong all these years? Apparently, according to my research, there is a generation of people that were taught this irrational spelling . Obviously a generation before spell check because there is no alternate spelling in any dictionary for this word. It's too bad. I always thought dilemna was a cool word. Now it is boring because it is spelled exactly how it sounds.

Why do kids have to step on everything that is on the floor, especially boxes?