Start Them Off Right

Today Rachel began eating solid foods.

That's how I do it

Often I get the comment, "I don't know how you do it." I rarely give thought that my life perhaps would've been easier if I had 4 less children. But here's an example of "how I do it":

Scenario
Me, in kitchen, eating oatmeal, on computer. I hear the simultaneous requests of:

1. A two year old on the toilet yelling, "I'm finished!" and expecting me to come immediately to wipe her poopy bottom.
2. A 19 month old trying desperately to reach his empty bottle on the kitchen counter with an, "Eh! Eh!" so he can suck on it until lunchtime.
3. A seven year old asking, "What are we going to do today?" in hopes I might say, "paint," which of course I won't.
4. A five year old on a desperate whiny search for the cable remote to get his fix of PBS Kids, Noggin, Nick Jr. and Playhouse Disney in the late morning.
5. A four year old, whose freshly pony-tailed hair is already messed up, begging me to play Barbies as I try to finish my cold oatmeal that I cooked an hour ago.
6. A four month old, who's been in the swing for two hours, cuing me that it's her turn for some affection and a mid-morning snack.

My response:
1. I'll be right there!
2. Hold on.
3. I don't know.
4. Did you look in the couch?
5. Let me finish my breakfast.
6. Just a minute.

Then I prioritize:
I hand the 19 month old his bottle, wipe the two year old's hiney, tell the seven year old to play Barbies with the four year old, grab the four month old and sit on the couch and watch TV with the five year old.

So, that's how I do it. No biggie.

Hot heads run in the family

Baby Rachel had a hot head this morning. She awoke at about 5 AM and when I picked her up I was for sure she had a fever. A concerned parent, I took her downstairs for examination. She had awakened an hour or two earlier than usual and I was prepared to be up until the doctor's office opened. All my thermometers in the house are in need of new batteries or are lost so I was basing my fever observations purely on human touch. Then I thought about our day at the pool. We only spent a couple of hours there and she was mostly in the shade. I looked at the sunscreen bottle and the label read to ask doctor before using on infant under 6 months. Whoops! Maybe I shouldn't have saturated little Rachel with the aerosol sunscreen before going to the pool. I was a little stricken with panic, that I poisoned my baby with sunscreen so I searched in the cupboard for a thermometer and was lucky to find a working one. I decided to go for the rectal reading and it read 98.6 degrees. Good news! No fever, just a hot head and we went back to bed. I called the doctor later in the morning and questioned why baby's aren't supposed to use sunscreen, without giving away the fact that I already had done so. The nurse told me that it can clog their sweat glands. So my theory is that I temporarily clogged Rachel's sweat glands and she was unable to naturally cool her head down. She seems to be fine now and my mom reminded me today that another one of my kids had a hot head as well.

I bathed Rachel before going to bed last night at about 11:30 pm to get off the lotion. Rachel is not accustomed to regular baths. I'm a lazy mother and think it sufficient to do a thorough daily wipe down with a baby wipe until Sunday morning when when I quickly bathe her in the master bathroom sink. Consequently Rachel is still not fully used to being doused with water. This was her sequence of reactions to her Monday night bath. It was only her second time in her whole life of being in the big bath tub. I think she looks like a Jib Jab character in the first photo. Her head really isn't that enormous.

"I'm not so sure about this."

"What the ... ?"

"This totally bites!"

"Get that camera out of my face and let me go to bed!"

I"ve been a little under the weather

My apologies for my blogging slackness. I was suffering from an acute case of Blog Envy the past few days. Every now and then I go on a blog stalk and come across some very lovely blogs. After reading them, I get this feeling of inadequacy and feel like my blog just doesn't measure up to the talents of these fine women and mothers. I envy the poetic posts of the sentimental mother. I envy the artistic photography of another. I envy the witty humor. I envy the creative projects they start and are able to finish. I envy the awesome blog header that they probably designed themselves. I envy the number of comments they receive. I envy their children's beautiful hair. I envy their Etsy shops.

My blog esteem was lifted yesterday when a woman at church told me her daughter loves my blog. And to top that off, I got a comment yesterday that said, "I just found your blog. Very enjoyable!" Wow. It even got an exclamation point. OK. I will repent and turn my envy into admiration. I'm back to blogging.

I'm a Good American

Last night my husband and I stimulated the economy with some of the money that was automatically deposited into our account last week from the government. We had an official date night complete with babysitter and dinner out. It was enjoyable. It's been nearly a year since we've paid a babysitter to watch our kids. We really wanted to see the new Indiana Jones movie, but decided against it since it was opening night and we have a 4 month old to tote around. I want to be sure to get good seats as well. We might stimulate the economy some more in a couple of weeks and see the movie then.

I can't believe it

We of course were watching the American Idol season finale tonight, the Super Bowl of Reality TV. I recorded it and zoomed through to avoid wasted time in commercials. When we arrived at the end when the two Davids stood there on the stage waiting for the envelope to be read, we watched as Seacreast read, "And the American Idol 2008 is David..."

Ahhhggghhh!

Fox of course went overtime and our DVR did not record the announcing of the winner and the confetti and balloons that I was looking foward to seeing. Wikipedia had it posted already. I was a little disappointed with the results. I think Archuleta deserved it, but it's not like he's not going to be famous. Clay Aiken seems to be more famous than Rueben. I guess all those Mormon teenie boppers had to go to bed early and couldn't vote the whole 4 hours. He's still a star in my eyes.

Moving on to "So You Think You Can Dance" tomorrow night....

My name is Melinda Beth and I am a TV junkie.

Snowcones, anyone?

It hailed tonight. I've never seen hail this big. It wasn't quite golf ball size, but it was exciting. When I saw the ice laying in the grass, I couldn't help myself but to go out and collect some. I waited until the downpour ceased though, so I wouldn't get knocked unconscious.

Shape Recognition

Jason demonstrated his ability at shape recognition. When he saw the cylindrical shape of the can of formula in the kitchen he thought it belonged next to the toilet paper in the bathroom, so he placed it there. He's not potty trained, but he does spend a lot of time in the bathroom as an audience studying the toilet paper supply. Good job, Jason!

A Spiritual Thought

I debated yesterday whether to use the word "whore" in the title of my post. I didn't want to come across vulgar and crass. So I asked my husband before clicking "publish post" if it was bad to write the word "whore." He said he didn't think so and that it depended upon the context. Then I justified that whore is a word used in the scriptures, so it can't be all that bad. My husband also reminded me that "dumb ass" is used several times in the scriptures as well. If you do a search for "dumb ass" on http://scriptures.lds.org/ you get the following results:

2 Pet. 2: 16 (New Testament)
16 But was rebuked for his iniquity: the dumb ass speaking with man’s voice forbad the madness of the prophet.

This scripture is referring to the prophet Balaam of the Old Testament (Numbers 22-24.) He is an example of a false prophet ripe in iniquity.

Mosiah 12: 5 (Book of Mormon)
5 Yea, and I will cause that they shall have burdens lashed upon their backs; and they shall be driven before like a dumb ass.

This is the Lord speaking to the prophet, Abinadi, referring to those who are unrighteous.

Mosiah 21: 3 (Book of Mormon)
3 Now they durst not slay them, because of the oath which their king had made unto Limhi; but they would smite them on their cheeks, and exercise authority over them; and began to put heavy burdens upon their backs, and drive them as they would a dumb ass—

In reference to the Lamanites towards the Nephites. A fulfillment of the prophecy given by Abinadi in Mosiah 12.

So what can we learn from these scriptures? Well, basically if we don't want to be considered a dumb ass, we need to live righteously which includes not following false prophets, not giving into lusts, and keeping the commandments. Asses are known for carrying heavy loads on their backs and, metaphorically speaking, if we choose to live righteously and repent of our sins we will avoid the heavy burden caused by sin. Without that burden, it is easier for us to continually make good choices that will keep us on the straight and narrow path that leads us back to where we can live again with our Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ.

I'm a Grocery Store Whore

I think my favorite grocery store knows that I'm trying to dump him for Walmart Supercenter. He must sense the impending final break-up due to me not paying him a visit last weekend. He flirted with me this week by sending a lovely weekly ad with all my favorite buy one get one free deals. He tempted me with Quacker granola bars, 40 oz. Peter Pan peanut butter, Nabisco Snackwells and Oreos single serve trays, Kraft Macaroni and Cheese, Ritz crackers, Spray 'N Wash, and even some Hershey Kisses. He knows me well! Those are all the items that I excitedly search for when I get on the internet each Wednesday morning to browse the ads. Darn it! He is totally seducing me. In fact I've been to see him 3 times already this week (mostly because I don't have the courage to make ridiculosly large bulk purchases in one visit.) I totally admit to taking advantage of him for his deals in order to stock up on essential items. Because of my grocery store promiscuity I now have an 18 month supply of peanut butter, 6 month supply of granola bars, and 4 month supply of crackers and cookies. However, despite his sneaky connivery, I am proud to say that I had the strength to resist his Kisses.

Drugs for Jugs

I wish I had known 4 kids ago that there was a drug capable of increasing a lactating woman's milk supply. After some internet research, I learned that the drug Reglan, which is typically used for heartburn, can increase the level of horomone responsible for producing milk. So since I was having lactation issues (not enough milk coming out), I called my OB and they prescibed me Reglan. It indeed worked! My milk jugs are back in business. Unfortunatley the drug can only be taken for maximum of 2 weeks so my dairy might need to shut down shortly after. But it's fun while it lasts. It's like being a human milk vending machine -- pop in a pill and milk comes out.

Do-over, please?

Some days I just want to give up and request a do-over. Like today when I went to the kitchen to get me a glass of water and stepped in a puddle of melted ice in front of the refigerator while at my feet a 2 1/2 year old begs me to watch Nemo despite the fact that I've told her 8 times that our DVD player is broken. I didn't even know she knew that the movie existed.

And then there is the toddler dumping puzzles in the playroom while the 7 and 4 year old are arguing over who gets to place the upper half of Argentina into the South American puzzle. All the while my insides are churning in regards to the clutter that is acumulating in each room of the house.

There is laundry in my master bedroom. In fact last night I did not sleep well, knowing there was an enormous pile nearly creating a fire hazard in front of the doorway. I actually dreamed that a good friend of mine bought a house in my neighborhood and when I went to check it out, I was extremely jealous of her gigantic laundry room with 4 sets of front loading washers and dryers.

In my living room I have a floor full of size 3-6 month girl clothing that I have to figure out where to put because the dresser in the girl's bedroom is at maximum capacity.

My kitchen is just, well, a kitchen with about 20 linear feet of counter space full of dirty dishes and everything else we try to keep out of an 18 month's old reach even though he can get to it anyway with enough persistance.

I have to think about when I am going to take a moment to feed the 4 month old and how to settle the older kid's dispute of whether to eat pasta or cheese and crackers for lunch.

Ok, so in hindsight it might not seem all that bad. But what's a mother going to do in the middle of a day that is going like this? --- Pour herself a frothy glass of Diet Coke, plop on the couch and read People magazine. There's just no use in trying to redeem the day with anything the slightest bit productive.

I am glad I didn't totally give up on the day because I would've missed these moments:

Bradley's self-prepared hot dog.

My discovery of why Jason was crying upstairs for 10 minutes.

The kid's dressing Jason like a girl.

An Orthodontic Challenge

Sarah is our budding artist. This is what she drew today. She titled it, "A Girl, Sally." I love the coordinating dress and hair.

Clean-up Claire

We have two new rules in our house. Thou shalt not:

1. Complain that nobody else is cleaning while you clean.
2. Complain that you are the only one cleaning when nobody else seems to be cleaning.

Last night as Emily was picking up the bedrooms before bedtime, she said, "Daddy, I'm the onl..." when Daddy cut her off and reminded her of the rule. She then said, "I'm the one.... doing.... that.... thing."

It's a hard habit to break.

Today I was pleased to find an article in the Friend that addresses this very issue. It's about an older sister that complains that she has to clean up her younger brother and sister's messes. Emily asked me to read it to her and I happily did. I don't think she realized its message when she chose the story and quietly regretted having picked it. What great supporting documentation to back parents up. Church magazines rock!

Quote of the Day

"I saw my poop hanging and it looked like bunnies."

- Sarah (after going potty)

Happy Mother's Day!

I forgot to the get the traditional photo with mom pic today. So we got one at 10:00PM with Sarah asleep. It works.

A Good Saturday

We had fun with the camera.

A true princess

There must be a pea under there somewhere.

A lesson in lettuce

Tonight at dinner we gave Jason a taste of Romaine lettuce. It was his first attempt and it took a little getting used to. After dinner we went outside and as we watered the plants he decided to sample a leaf from each of them. Jason learned his first lesson on vegetarianism:

Lesson One: Eat leaves.

The things that offend us

I was upstairs doing laundry when Bradley comes crying. He whined, "Mommy! Sarah and Emily are calling me a little boy!"
"Um...yeah."
"But I'm not a little boy!"
"You're not?"
"No. I'm a big kid. They're being mean!"
"Ok."
Then Emily came in defense and said, "Mommy, he called us babies first!"
"Ok."

Then I thought, when is the crossing over point when we no longer desire to be big and prefer to be considered young and petite? Age 16? Age 25? I don't remember. Probably when the breasts lose their perk and the facial collagen gets looser. I know I wouldn't like it if someone called me an "old fart" or "big girl." So I guess all is fair. "Knock it off kids and just get along because I've got a mountain of laundry to fold."

and there's more... one load in the washer and another in the dryer. I want to live in a nudist colony.

The Rescue

As I rummaged through the toys in the playroom, I came across Woody. I was wondering why I didn't see him during the yard sale because I was sure I had put him in the yard sale box. I also thought it strange that the Cinderella carriage didn't sell. Now I realize that it must have been used for the rescue.

In the eyes of a child

I took Emily out shopping tonight. It was a little mother, daughter bonding time. We went to Goodwill to see if any of our stuff that we donated was on the shelves yet. We didn't see anything. Then we went to Walmart. We shopped for a couple of hours. I bought her a big ice cream cone from the McDonald's inside of the Walmart. She was thrilled and ate the entire thing. On the way home she saw that the car clock said 10:04. She was surprised to see that there were other cars on the road. She said, "Mommy, why are there so many people out at 10:04? They should be in bed!"

Ultimate Bed Head

However, his hair looks like that all day, not just in the morning. No joke.

I'm converting

Yesterday I went to the local Walmart Supercenter to pick up some wipes, diapers, and Pull-ups. I decided since I was already there, I might as well do my grocery shopping. As I shopped I realized how much cheaper a lot of the items were. For example, the milk was $3.40 compared to $4.19, the bread was $1.54 compared to $1.69, and the cheese was $7.34 compared to $7.99. I felt disloyal to my favorite grocery store, where it's a pleasure to shop, so on my way home I stopped by the shopping plaza to order some Dominos pizza. While I waited for my pizza I went to the grocery store to give it a little snuggle. I began the weaning process and purchased a couple bags of barley, toilet seat covers, Hefty ziplocs (can't beat those BOGO sales), and some perfume and dye free detergent for my poor eczematic Sarah. Also, I bought a reusable shopping bag bearing the store's logo as a souvenir of my regular shopping days there. I'll miss you, grocery store!

"50 % More! Than our 8 oz. Package"

During my shopping at Walmart I came across this package of cheese. Ok, so....thanks for doing the math for me, Sargento. I almost needed my calculator for that one. The 12 oz. package actually cost more per ounce than the 8 oz. package. My husband calls it "evil marketing." They must be marketing toward the dumb housewife. I'm no dumb housewife, but I bought it anyway so I could take a picture of it.

Oh and happy half birthday to Bradley!

One man's trash is another man's treasure

Today we had a Yard Sale. It went well. I dreaded the whole process of getting up at 5 am to set up and dealing with bargainers, but I was pleasantly surprised that most people accepted my prices. I grossed $217 and netted $186.50 after the cost of advertising, and sign supplies. I suppose it was worth my time considering that now I don't have to haul a desk, dresser, office chair, and grill to Goodwill. I felt a little exposed having all of my junk displayed in my yard. But hey, people were willing to give me money for it. Only a couple of people tried to talk me down in price for some items. I was asking $2 each for two Lord of the Rings DVDs. One lady tried to get them for a dollar a piece. I said, "No, I'm going to stick to $2," because it was like only 8am. Sure enough about 5 minutes later some other lady came along and bought them for $2 each. I also discovered that I have some sales skills. I convinced a guy to buy my broken DVD player for $0.50 and another lady to take my scanner that was missing it's power cord for $1. One big item that I couldn't get rid of was our 5 year old gas grill. I was only asking $3 for it. But at 4pm after the sale was all cleaned up, some little hispanic man came knocking at my door and said, "You said three dollar for the uh...?" I said, "Yes!" and took the three ones he handed me and the grill was gone. I love the concept of yard sales - people paying you to haul away your junk!

Orphaned or neglected?

Do Max and Ruby have parents?

Maximum weight: 11 lbs.

Rachel has exceeded the 11 lb. maximum weight on my postage scale. Now she weighs EEEEEE.

I don't hate many things, but I HATE cockroaches. I think one of the first questions I'm going to ask when I get to heaven is, "Was it really necessary to create roaches?" Seriously, what's their purpose?