Wednesday, May 30, 2007

Pregnant Hypochondriac

Slap my hand for skipping a whole week! But you see the problem was that I was suffering an acute case of hypochondria. This past week I have had lymphoma, tonsillitis or tonsil cancer (one or the other), bumps on my tongue (circumvallate papillae), kidney disease, and an ectopic pregnancy. But seriously, the last one I was really worried about that I actually called my doctor. Last night in bed at about 4:00 am I had a sharp pain in my lower left abdomen and I couldn't think it to be anything else but an egg burrowed in my fallopian tube. I saw the doctor at 2:30PM, the ultrasound looked normal with a cute little yolk sac and my urine was normal. He said perhaps a cyst burst in my ovary. I looked at him and said, "Uh, that's not bad? Can you explain what that means?" Apparently we develop these so called cysts each month during our cycle and this one supposedly might have been larger than normal which was causing my discomfort when it burst instead of atrophied. I also mentioned to my doctor that I had been experiencing some anxiety and asked if there was anything I could take to calm myself during my first trimester. He regrettably said, "Not safely." But later after the exam when I asked for reassurance that everything was normal and told him I was diagnosing myself with a different disease every day , he commented, "I really wish there was something I could give you for that anxiety." I assured him that I would be fine and that it was probably the preparations for my cross country airplane trip with my five kids that was triggering my anxiety. He bid me farewell with words of comfort and now I seem to be a healthy, but nauseaus 30 year old pregnant female anxious for her trip. Tonight I am going to go straight to bed and doze off to sleep while reading my People magazine. I'm not going to stay up watching viewer discretioned Discovery Health Channel trauma shows until four in the morning or I might wake up believing I have a perforated instestine, shattered spine and a bullet in my jaw.

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