Wednesday, June 15, 2011

Strawberries and Sharks

Before we get to the Strawberries and Sharks, I'll tell you about the beginning of my week.....

So Baby Blighted was born on Miscarriage Monday. I'm very happy she complied with my alliteration schedule. What an obedient ovum.

I've been through four miscarriages now and this was by far the most traumatic. I was expecting it to be like the others with just some heavy bleeding and cramping. But I guess since my body pulled a prank on me and pretended to be pregnant for a total of 11 weeks and 2 days instead of terminating when the pregnancy stopped progressing at 6 weeks, it was a little more than what I hoped for. I won't go into details, so let's just say my bathroom looked like a murder scene and smelled like hemoglobin. I called my husband at work and freaked out to him during the ordeal. I had a call into my doctor's office from earlier that morning and the nurse returned my phone call about five minutes after it all happened. Poor Ann had to hear me cry as I expressed my traumatizing experience. She said, "Oh, I called.......because you wanted to have your thyroid tested." It was true. That was the original purpose of my call. I think I caught Ann off guard, but she was very nice and scheduled me for an appointment for the next morning.

When I knew it was about to happen, I wrote my husband's cell phone number on a piece of paper and gave it to Emily. I told her that if I passed out, to call 911 and Daddy. Thankfully I didn't pass out. My uterus did a fine job of contracting and controlling the bleeding. The scientist in me collected the specimen and I was able to examine it in great detail. It was quite fascinating and a great lesson in biology, but I chose not to use it for homeschool science that day.

So I went to the doctor on Tuesday, while an awesome friend of mine from church watched my kids plus her four kids, and it was determined it was a complete miscarriage (which I was already certain of), so no D & C. Yay! He told me I should get my real period in about 4-6 weeks and he expects to see me back in a few months, with more success next time. He explained to me that every time I get pregnant, I put myself "in the game." He said at this point there is a 30-40% chance of miscarriage. I think that sounds awfully high, but I suppose my age (34) and previous pregnancy losses raises the odds for me. He also said that the more you play the game, the more chances you give yourself for losses. Well, I have been playing the game a lot.....

Then he brought up my thyroid concern. Google told me that thyroid issues can affect fertility, so I wanted to be tested. He made it clear that he did not believe I had any thyroid issues. I asked him why.
He said, "You don't fit the profile."
I said, "What is the profile?"
He basically said, "Not you." But he agreed to allow me to get it tested to ease my mind. I think he's probably right. He's been practicing for over 30 years and probably knows a thing or two.

Then I brought up the pain in my right shoulder muscle. I told him I thought it was from sitting at my computer, but wasn't sure if it was a sign of something more serious. He agreed it was probably from the computer and told me he gets it too. I asked him, "So you don't think I'm having a heart attack?"
He laughed and said, "No, I don't think you're having a heart attack."

Then I brought up the pain in my right hip/upper thigh. It's this kind of pinched nerve pain that comes and goes. It seems to be correlated with my cramping uterus. Kind of like a referred pain because I only had it the two nights that I was cramping, but he said it was unrelated. I asked him, "So you don't think I have a blood clot?"
He shook his head with a smirk, "No, I don't think you have a blood clot." He also didn't think it had anything to do with my uterus, but I still do.

Then I told him my theory about my immune system attacking my fetus. He said, "No." (I still think it's possible, but he's probably right.)

I decided not to bring up the 10 melanomas I've been suspicious about. At that point I was pretty sure they were just freckles or age spots since my dermatologist gave me a clean bill of health in February.

I'm pretty sure he wrote in my chart, "Dx: hypochondriac; Google-itis"

I then proceeded to the lab to get some blood drawn for my thyroid test. I'll have the results by Friday.

So that's been the last three days or so. I'm back to my normal self, so don't turn the other direction if you see me in Walmart. It's not likely I will sob on your shoulder in front of a shelf of maxi pads. It's crazy how hormonal I was the past week. I would start crying for no apparent reason. Once everything was finished on Monday I felt so relieved. It was like the ultimate uterine cleanse. I think I might try a liver cleanse next. I never knew there was such a thing, but there is. You basically fast for 12 hours (ex 7PM - 7AM) and then drink some funky concoction in the morning of olive oil, ginger, and other stuff. So in the morning instead of saying "Lego my Ego." you say, "Lego my EVOO." (Extra Virgin Olive Oil for those of you who don't watch Rachael Ray.) Ug. It's making me nauseous just writing about it and I'm not even pregnant. Where do people come up with these things? I'm not ready to give up my midnight snack and Honey Bunches of Oats in the morning.

Speaking of EVOO, I made my first pesto the other night. It was delicioso. I didn't realize walnuts were in the recipe, so I substituted cashews because that's all I had. I think real pesto is supposed to have pine nuts, but they are SO expensive! There was a BOGO (Buy One Get One free) sale on olive oil at the grocery store this week, so I bought some and I'm going to try to make some more pesto with walnuts. I tried making some pesto tonight, however, my blender busted. I wasn't sure what happened at first. Pesto was oozing all over the place from the bottom of the blender. When I yelled, "Arrghh! What is happening?" (sometimes I speak pirate) Bradley came into the room and said, "I think maybe I didn't put the blender back together right."

Upon further inspection, that was exactly the case. When he reassembled it the other evening after washing it, he attached the parts in the wrong order and there was no seal on the bottom to keep in the contents. In the process of operating the wrongly assembled blender, I busted the spinning thing on the bottom of the glass pitcher part and now all it does is smoke when I run it because of something called "friction."  I'm actually looking forward to getting a new blender because ours is 11 years old and kind of old school. I want a stainless steel one to match my toaster. Hmmm....maybe that will be a good Father's Day gift or a birthday gift for me.

Gosh, my posts have been long lately! Have a I lost your attention? Now to get back on topic, here are the pictures to explain the title of my post:

George amused himself at dinner by sticking a strawberry to the side of his face. He's learning that it's fun to get laughter attention from his siblings.

Shark Girl Sarah. Sarah hasn't lost any teeth yet, but she is growing new ones. I told her that her only job the next couple of days is to wiggle those teeth until they fall out.


  1. wow! Sarah can probably rip through an apple like it's her job! :) Glad you are doing better and that your doctor finally gave you your official diagnosis of hypochondriac! :)

  2. such a well written story! You're awesome.
    Monica Eastin