Monday, October 29, 2007

I'm Allergic to Marriage


Sunday is pretty much my only day of the week to get dressed up and feel beautiful. I dry my hair straight, put a little extra makeup on, wear different earrings, put on a skirt and blouse and break out the wedding rings to go to church. I just don't see a need to wear my wedding rings on an everyday basis and wreck their beauty with chewed up Goldfish, lotion, boogers, or whatever else that can get wedged in every possible crevice of its setting. So they sit in a safe spot, tucked away for the darkness to capture their beauty. And on the rare occasion that I do go out during the week, I feel there is no need to flaunt proof of wifehood. The lump on my belly, my waddling gait, and five kids in tow like baby ducklings should exclaim, "TAKEN!" and be enough to ward off even the most desperate of men. But now I am afraid that I am allergic to marriage. Everytime I wear my rings, I break out in an itchy red rash. What's up with that? I think I need to clean them. Perhaps I'm not actually allergic to marriage, but rather marriage causes fungal infections.

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